Battling Selfishness...

Yes...we are in a battle. All the time. And this weekend (starting on Friday) I felt it more real than I had in a while. My week last week was good, work was good, my relationship with friends was good, my boyfriend was good. I was on cloud nine, then came a dose of some issues.

Now to say these were others issues would be wrong, but what came in conversations with others, in working with others, in trying to love others well, was issues.  My issues!

Yep, in case you didn't know it, I've got issues! Ain't too proud to talk about it, let it all out. And no, I'm not asking for some pity-party, I'd rather have you just pray. Lord knows I need it!

So here are some of the issues that came out of me this weekend, like a rotten smelling fruit:  fear, insecurity, jealousy, need for attention, wanting to be right, control, lack of self-control and selfishness. I could go on, but I think that's enough, for many reasons.

One, the Lord is not asking me to bear the weight of all these issues. Whew?! Because when I do that I tend to mess things up royally. Nope, Jesus came so that I could find refuge in His unfailing, unfaltering, unrestrained love.  

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:37-39)

Secondly, as I move, live and breathe, I have to realize that these issues must be laid at the Lord's feet, that I must give them over each day, minute-by-minute, I must not give up! But trying not to give up does not mean to keep trying other alternatives (believe me I KNOW!). Selfishly, those don't work either, because again, I am not trusting, I am acting out of fear. I want to fix it, I want to make things better, I want the issue to go away. And sometimes, it can't just go away, my words must be chose carefully, and my actions may sometimes heed discipline and responses that I don't want to experience.

So as I write this, and as Ann Voskamp tends to reiterate on her blog/facebook (found here: http://www.aholyexperience.com/), "#preachingthegospeltomyself". So here I am, preaching the Gospel to myself.

It works most of the time, and then the times it doesn't, means I'm trying too hard to force my plans, and not waiting on God's plans. And then I'm reminded of one of my most favorite bible verses:

Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it's the Lord's purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21)

Yep, all my scheming, and trying, fixing, planning, talking, I need to let it go. I need to trust that the Lord cares for my issues and is working on soul and that I don't have to do the heavy lifting all the time.

So I pray on this Sunday evening, I will rest, I will rest well, I will sleep and I will wake up tomorrow morning with the clean slate the Lord is ready to hand me. Lord, I trust you. Lord, I believe you. Lord, I need you. Lord, I love you and Lord, I thank you. Amen!

Join In, Listen, Obey...

And here's the devotional I wrote for Day 2 training in Devils Lake - thought I would share...since officially I'm writing and the purpose of my blog was to write more!

Enjoy - kt

Join In, Listen, Obey...

WOW! Summing up day 2 of trainDEVILS LAKE #3 it has been tough...the Lord showed up in BIG ways, starting on Tuesday morning. About 25 people met to pray and go out in the Devils Lake region and right from the start the Lord began to encourage His disciples who were showing up scared, nervous and a little hesitant. It reminded me of a quote I read earlier today:

“The Spirit of God meets us where we are and calls us to take the next step . . . This is where we find God - one step ahead, inviting us forward. And as we follow Him we may live the lives that display the irresistible beauty of 'the light of the world, a city on a hill [that] can’t be hidden' Matthew 5:14” - Jeff Cook, Author/Pastor


It could not have been more true yesterday. Right from 8:00 a.m. on, the Lord was one step (or years of prayer) ahead of us.

As one first-timer showed up yesterday morning and made herself available She sat down to listen to the training of how to use the Gospel wristband and Step-by-Step Holy Bible and when the presentation was over she realized that sitting next to her was a young mother whom she had never directly shared the Gospel with, whom she had been praying for - for years and she had just been presented (through Gary’s training) the complete Gospel message. WOW!

Now, while the young mother had to leave quickly after the message was delivered, God was setting her up to have a chance to follow up with the message she heard! Our God is an awesome God! - Psalm 68:35 This first-timer felt the Lord just gently say, “I’m here to help you every step of the way!”

During lunch there were similar experiences where the Lord encouraged and spoke to team members to let them know “You are not alone.” And whether it was another team member helping out at just the right time with the words of the Gospel or a prayer or even if it was complete recognition that the Holy Spirit was directing their steps and speech, our first-timers, and even our seasoned veterans were encouraged! Just by taking one step forward they saw the Lord meet them where they were.

And because of that what we see, “The word of God kept on spreading; and the number of disciples continued to greatly increase” (Acts 6:7). Never before had we ever taken out 60+ people for night time outreach. So as we took our first steps and they took theirs, we continued to see the Lord show up in all his glory.

And just like what happened that morning, a young college student was able to be encouraged that God was answering her prayers. By someone else taking a first step and sharing the Gospel with her friend, we were able to celebrate by saying, “GLORY!”

Be sure to check out the video below too!

The Joy of the Lord is my Strength

I wrote this for our Time to Revive email communications last week and thought I would love to share it with others as well!  Enjoy!

The Joy of the Lord is my Strength

Joy is all I can think about today...and for many days leading up to this day. Today was joyful in that we didn’t travel in blizzard conditions, I got to have great conversations with coworkers, I was able to hug some great friends from Arizona and North Dakota and I didn’t wear a jacket all day (not even in ND!). JOY!

But seriously, for the past few months the Holy Spirit has had me focused on this little song. “The joy of the Lord is my strength, the joy of the Lord is my strength, the joy of the Lord is my strength, the joy of the Lord is my strength...”

It all started in Devils Lake too, the first time I had heard this song, if ever, was on Day 6 of prayDEVILS Lake (Click here to see Gloria (Kyle’s Mom) sing it - Love it!). And my roommates, friends and coworkers can also tell you, I haven’t been able to shake this little saying and song, it just keeps popping up!

I can’t shake how gracious the Lord is to me. He gives me strength whenever and wherever I need it and His love NEVER FAILS! (Psalm 136).

The Lord was so good to me in Seattle, He gave me unending joy, so much so, that I remember saying to Emilee that I couldn’t explain it. He gave it to me even when I should not have felt joy, when I didn’t deserve it. His joy abounded. And in return I give thanks, glorious thanks.

And that’s what we got to see tonight. God’s joy arcing from Seattle to Devils Lake. As Gary talked tonight, when Jesus sent out the seventy-two, they went in obedience to the Lord. Jesus did not promise it would be easy, in fact He stated just the opposite, you will be sent “out like lambs among wolves”Luke 10:3. As Gary said tonight imagine being a little lamb in a pack of wolves, not a fun picture!

Now we didn’t tell that to Pastor Les, Kim, Jessica, Andy, Vanessa or Michelle when they signed up for reviveSEATTLE, it’s just not a cool tag line for a mission trip. And in fact it may be a little harsh to describe how these North Dakotans felt when they arrived in Seattle, but truth is it was hard. It was hard because it was different, because it was a new city, because it was stretching and each one went knowing it would not be easy.

They trusted the Lord, they held onto His promises and they returned with joy. Just like it says in Luke 10: 17 - “The seventy-two returned with joy.” And tonight we got to share in that joy. We got to see how the Lord worked in and through each of them in Seattle and how he’s continuing to do that as they are obedient to be sent out.

And now that same joy is multiplying in Seattle and in Devils Lake! You too can get in on that joy just by allowing the Lord to be your strength and joining us...whether you are reading this from Seattle or Devils Lake - it’s not too late, come...let the joy of the Lord be your strength.

Kristi

Check out the video that accompanied this writing too: