Everyone has a testimony...

I had what my husband calls "a download" this morning...so let me share it here with you.

I know many people that have tremendous testimonies or stories...and as it says in the bible, I truly believe the scripture that says:

Revelation 12:11 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

11 And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death.

And to that end, I love hearing stories of over comers...but here's the deal...I hear SO MANY testimonies and I hear the differences in where people are with their testimony - heck - even I am at a different stage with different parts of my testimony - because I'm constantly being renewed and refreshed and sanctified...

But there's something the Lord downloaded to me this morning...there are two roles in testimony sharing - the person sharing the testimony and the person hearing the testimony.

Both roles have a responsibility and we must be aware of this...gosh - my brain just went into a whole other sermon - there's multiple things to think about when you are sharing your testimony and maybe I'll make another post about that - but for now let's stick to this one.

When you share - you must think about where you are in your story and BE HONEST. I hear so many testimonies that are not sharing in order to GLORIFY GOD, but are sharing in order to GAIN SYMPATHY because they have not yet passed over or overcame the hurt in their story. I don't believe that this is what the Lord desires. This is, I hate to say, manipulative and selfish, and if I were free of this myself I would feel bad in saying it so harshly, but I can't in good conscience say I have never wanted peoples sympathy when I shared...but I need to ask this...

Why? Because I should not be sharing to get anything out of it...I should be sharing TO GIVE ALL GLORY TO GOD! And so should you - and I know some of you do - and you are the ones that inspire me...thank you! You are sharing from a humble heart attitude that knows God did this, this is God's story - not my story...it's his - ALL OF IT. And gosh I really need to do some self examination myself on this one.

But there's more - the way the Lord brought this to me is by listening to the hurt and heart ache in another's story - and I started to take on that hurt and take on that heartache and the Lord said STOP. This person sharing has not overcome this, has not handed this over to me, has not shared from a humble heart but is trying to manipulate you and others. Now I could have easily been upset with this person, but that's not what the Lord was trying to say. The Lord was giving me discernment to guard my heart, to guard my mind, to protect me for bearing a burden that was not mine.

WOW - that's insight, that's wisdom, that's discernment.

I think we all need to think about this - we need to hear each others stories and encourage each other to share, but we also need to be alert and know that what the enemy may intend for bad - GOD intends FOR GOOD...so we have to let it all rest with him, He is the burden-bearer...He is the one that is meant to be glorified through all things.

So I pray today that you set down any story you've picked up and that you examine your story as well, like I said, I need to look at how/when I tell mine and what is my motivation - is it for His glory or for my selfish needs?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this...

Winning or loosing (an incomplete blog post)

It occurred to me how important perspective can be on life...on days when I have a "good" perspective, I can appear to be "winning" at most things.  But then there are the days when I have a "bad" perspective and it appears that I'm "loosing" at most things.

So what's the difference?

What happens in that split second of a thought to taint/affect our brain with the idea that we are going to win/lose in that moment...

I ask, because, I have trouble with this myself.

So here are some thoughts:

______________________________________________

Stop the press - in my last post this was something I talked about - these random, incomplete posts...I decided to start looking at them and publishing them as I was led.

For the life of me, I have no idea what those next thoughts were going to be, nor do I know why I stopped mid-blog and didn't continue.

Feel free to add your perspective or chime in - I'd love to hear what you think - I think this topic is very valuable...and maybe in the future the revelation will come back, but for now, enjoy this incomplete post!

A little pep talk and planning...

It's Saturday and for the last year or more I've had a reminder set in my calendar that says BLOG - so here are my stats of how much I have listened to myself and that little reminder, that was set with such good intentions...

2016 - 3 published blogs, 1 draft
2015 - 11 published blogs, 5 drafts
2014 - 14 published blogs, 4 drafts
2013 - 6 published blogs 

So, 52 weeks in a year, that should equal 52 blogs? Whoops...

Why do these stats interest me? Probably because as I've started almost ten blogs I've never published, I know what I was thinking at that time...Oh I'll go back and finish it later! Nope, can't do it, why? Because it's totally an inspired word, at least for me, a bit of a revelation. I've found, it's not something you can just go back and complete. Believe me I've tried. Setting all judgments aside - (I almost, yep here I go, I almost wrote, maybe I was emotional when I wrote it, gotta let that leave my brain right now). So here's what happens - I go back and I read some those drafts and some of them have some depth, some meat, some thoughts I'd like to share. So, I have thought about just posting them with a disclaimer like you see in shops that resale items or sell discount items - AS IS - No returns, no additional discounts - take it or leave it...that's what they mean right? 

So as I sit here flushing this out...maybe I will do that, post these unfinished blogs with a disclaimer. Hmmm, actually, who needs one, the title of my blog itself is Completely Unfinished. Doesn't that say it right there? So are you on board? You with me? Should I just post/publish those? 

A few extra notes - the dates they were written will be relevant, much more so than the dates they are published, but if I remove me from the equation and get back to the purpose of why I write, I write for others to see, others to hear, others to feel and see that life is not always a bowl full of cherries. And then I can't deny, I write for selfish reasons too - I write for me - because, for me, it's a space where I can clear out the clutter, get it down on paper, try to make sense of my thoughts...

OK - so we have a plan! Sounds like a plan. Oh yes, I love plans, I love organizing, I love making lists! So, prayerfully you will follow and understand, as I have 10 posts to do over the next few weeks. Maybe I'll post one every other day? Who knows, maybe one everyday? Just do it - get it all out there.

Thanks to all of you who are reading this now - as today's blog is totally rambling, organizing some thoughts and all out total and utter spewing on the computer! I appreciate you for hopping or hobbling along with me on this journey. I truly hope 2017 holds way more posts on the blog. And that I actually pay attention to the good reminders I've set on my phone. For me that means that I do what I believe is possible, that I "MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT" (2017 theme). And at the end of 2017 we raise our mug of coffee or glass of spirits and we toast "Here's to life" (a line in one of my favorite band's songs - bonus if you know it)...thank you!

Blessings today and all the days ~ kb

We're having a baby!

So our favorite past time in the last few weeks (the hubs and I) is laying in bed each night and watching Touch - a series on Netflix...and watching MY BELLY!

We are less than 6 weeks away from our due date with our little angel and we couldn't be MORE excited! I haven't done a good job of documenting our pregnancy - other than on social media...so I thought I'd use it as a blog post today!

We have been so blessed, donations/gifts of clothes, toys, blankets, breast pumps, breastfeeding pillows - books, ADVICE - which is invaluable. We are so excited. Her bassinet is on the way thanks to some amazing grandparents. We also have 2 showers coming up and I'm sure I'll cry with the love that flows around our little girl.

And to add to it - seeing her daddy light up...that's been a true gift. I can't wait to see my husband hold this precious child...wooo - gotta stop talking about it - gets me all teary eyed!

So another thing happened this last week, and I'll post it here as someone encouraged me to document it too!

"Had a doctors appt today for baby girl...my dad just happened to call at the same time and got to hear her little heart beating over the phone...I think he might have teared up a bit...(telling on you!) Love you grandpa!!! :-) She'll be here soon!"


Anyways - my heart is full because if you've ever read any of my other blogs, you know that this child is a fulfilled promise from God, long before my marriage, my life was spoken over and He promised me this little girl. What a good, good, good God we have. He loves to give us good gifts and He's here fighting for us and with us in the sin-fallen world.


I'm off this morning for a sewing day with some amazing women...blessed to get a chance to type this short note. Writing brings me joy and whether or not it impacts anyone else, it's an amazing release for me - so go do something that brings you joy today!


Blessings, kb

Reflections on 2016...

Okay, okay so watching everyone reflect on 2016 really makes me want to do it too...I can't deny it, I want to be part of the pondering, insightful, reflective and self-aware crowd...I've always wanted to be a cool kid. (For real...I'm probably more follower than leader, surprised? Not me!).

So as I was thinking about it over the last few days, this saying popped into my head...

"Let that sink in"

It seemed harmless at the time, maybe I was thinking about a solution to a problem I was working on, maybe I heard it while I was listening to a podcast, reading a book, watching a video with the hubs. I don't know who said it, but the saying has stuck with me for the last few days.

Then it hit me. That's my 2016. That's what the Lord was trying to speak to me, that's what life was trying to get me to do. So much transition has happened in my life in the last year. New home, new marriage, new roles (wife, helper, entrepreneur, work from home professional, momma, dog momma) - you name it - life has changed! And throughout the year, the transition was not always easy, there were emotional explosions, confusion, depression, excitement, joy, bliss, peace, confidence, courage, exhaustion, jealousy, trust, no trust, silos, loneliness, new friendships, old friendships...you name it, the roller coaster ride was legit!

So how does "Let that sink in" describe the ride? Well, for one, I'm pretty tough-minded and stubborn, those who know me, have witnessed. I have to learn the hard way. I have to try it out, I have to examine, use, see, feel, witness and be told over and over and over and over that it's good. Affirmation is after all one of my top two love languages (the other being quality time). But please Lord, make it plain - affirm me! And everyone around me - affirm me! Husband - affirm me, work - affirm me, man it's a constant upkeep with this one friends. I need affirmation! And it's sad at the same time, because if you boiled me down, the times I've thrived the most is when I had the least affirmation, ironic.

So 2016 - "Let that sink in" - what had to sink in? Let's start at the top.

Jesus - My Lord, my Savior, my refuge, my best friend, my comfort, my peace, my provider...I needed to let it sink in that He above all else was going to continue to carry me through the new season, through the new marriage, through the pregnancy, through my roles as helper, entrepreneur, wife, follower. I needed to be closer to Him than ever, and I have to admit, this year, I ebbed and flowed in the Spirit, I diligently read, then I diligently ran from His word. I'm still learning to meditate on it day and night, I'm still learning to run to it when all else fails and I'm still learning to trust Him when I feel like everything is shattering around me...so sweet child He says "Let that sink in, I'm not going anywhere." "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you." - Deuteronomy 31:6 NASB

Wife - I'm a wife, I'm married, I have a husband. I can rest in this...yeah..."Let that sink in" - who are you competing with dear child? He chose you, you are enough, you are the one. And so what if meal-planning went out window, you still have jealousy in your heart, you have abandonment issues from when you were a child, you don't feel pretty and worth it and you don't know how to communicate effectively? Welp, that all happened and so much more...but you're still here. Grace carried you, grace picked you up, grace saved your marriage, day in and day out, and your husband, full of grace still believes, loves and chooses you everyday. We did it! One year and a few months later we are still here, and I love him more today than I did yesterday and the day before...and I'm SO THANKFUL for him, SO THANKFUL for Jesus in His life and Jesus in my life. As we both exclaim, day after day, we can't do this without Jesus! Thank you babe for loving me and taking such good care of me through the ups and downs. "For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace." John 1:16 ESV

Stay at home _______________ (whatever, fill in the blank), this one is hard for me. My identity always came from my career, my work, my goals at a job. So that's not to say I haven't had work to do this year. But finding my sweet spot of working at home, for School of Permaculture, for It Works, for my family - I still struggle, I struggle with motivation, with getting things done, with balancing wife and work. And who doesn't? So letting it sink in - in this area - is as the other two - still a work in progress. I love having a to do list, I love being busy, but I also love doing nothing. Finding my identity in Christ first, has always been a struggle for me, finding my identity in work has come easy - even when it's not right, off balance and drives me and everyone else into the nut house...so thank you 2016 for all the lessons, the good, the bad, the ugly, the great, the unexpected joys around each corner. We did it! We accomplished a lot, we got work done, we learned new skills, we grew businesses and we survived! Remember though, our identity is in Christ! "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9 NIV

Momma - WOW! I'm a momma...well, she's not here or out of my belly yet, but I'm a momma! "Let that sink in," - as my husband exclaims - "Whoodang?" Lord, first of all thank you! It's a funny story, before the Lord really got a hold of my heart, I used to call Marriage the "M" word as in it's a bad word. I lived in sin with boyfriends and I refused to even speak on the topic, and children, nope, not having them. And then friends older and wiser than me started saying, just wait, you'll get that baby bug - whatever. Well, I turned thirty and my body truly started talking to me, I thought it was a joke. Then, I moved to Texas where the Lord removed the scales from my eyes and I got to see what marriage was about, it was about Jesus, not all the images I had in my head. AND THEN, I decided I wanted both, a marriage and a baby. Well, in the midst of a relationship back in 2012, I found myself with a man who didn't know what he wanted, and I cried out to the Lord, because in my heart I had heard Him say that I was to have a child. And in that crying out the Lord answered me...LOUD AND CLEAR...and promised me, I would have a child. So I ended that relationship, after all the Lord had spoken, and I'm so thankful I did, because here I sit, 33 weeks pregnant, married to the best man I've ever known and we have a daughter, Faithful Elizabeth on the way...THANK YOU JESUS!!! When I reconciled the fact that the Lord had promised me a child, before I had a beau, I would say to the doubters who thought I was getting a bit too old, well, Sarah was 90 when the Lord gave her a child, so I've still got time! And here we are, I'm 41 and my baby girl is healthy as can be and I'm going to be a momma!!! "For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God." 2 Corinthians 1:20 NIV

So, I'll stop there. 2016 had so many lessons, but I'm ready, just like everyone else to start the new year. I am sad that I'm not starting with a new fitness routine, I'm not ready to kick the baby weight to the curb yet, those always energize me, but hey, this little angel in my belly is soooo worth it!

So for 2016, I'm going to adopt this saying...

"Make Every Minute Count"

It's on the new planner I bought, so it's not like I dreamed this up - but I figured, it's good, and I will make it better, I will make it work and I WILL MAKE EVERY MINUTE COUNT! And my planner will remind me daily, it will be good, it will be fun and I will embrace each day as it come...letting all of God's goodness sink in!Love you all - thanks for being a part of my journey! Blessings to you today and in the new year! And as you think of me, us, and our baby girl, just lift up a prayer, we love praying for our friends and family and we love it when we are prayed for! Thank you!

Pray and fast...

You just never know where life will lead, you can plan, dream, wish and you just never know...this picture was taken a year and a half ago in CA with the mighty redwoods...and at that time, I could have only dreamed that a year and a half later I'd be married and carrying our first child! I prayed and fasted for us, for him, and God answered my prayers! And not only that, He overwhelmed me with love and mercy, I'm now a stay at home mom, working side by side with my husband on our dream of helping and loving people through Christ! I'm working a business, building our organization and helping people along the way! WOW! It wasn't and isn't always easy, marriage and relationships are hard, but I'm so thankful to be on this journey with him...God knows what he's doing, even when we don't! Trust in the Lord, keep praying, fast if he says to fast, get in line with His will...and see what blessings He has in store! Thank you Lord for my blessings! I love this beautiful life!

#keepdreaming #mcm #redwoods #catrip2015 #prayer #fasting #seekhiswill #godloves #blessings #wih #sop #schoolofpermaculture#mywhy #wfh #wfhmoments #reflecting #beauty #nature #naturephotography #thankful #mondaymotivation #adventure #outsideisthebestside #getoutside #travel #testimonytime

Clean sinks...

Friends...probably ladies...but maybe some men...

This morning as I was standing at the sink, finishing up the dishes...I was thinking about how excited I get when things are clean, when my house is clean, when the dishes are done, the sink is cleaned out and it's all shiny...It gets me thoroughly excited...I feel as if I've accomplished something, that I did something good...

Then I stood there and it hit me...when you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, He alone washes you white as snow...He takes all the dirt, the sin, the scars and He wipes them away...

So that for the rest of our lives we can wake up each morning and revel in that truth- we are clean and shiny, it's done, we don't have to earn it, He completed the task on the cross and all we have to do is believe in Him...but if you're like me you don't wake up thinking like that...

Whew, I got a little bit of goodness that started flowing through me, some revelation! THANK YOU JESUS...I got a little bit more excited than ever about that clean sink today...

Isaiah 1:18 ESV

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool."