Freedom is tearing us apart...

I'm thankful I live in a country where each of us can have an opinion, we can share that opinion and we can practice that opinion...we can say it boldly, loudly, repeatedly...it's quite amazing and I'm even inspired by so many of my friends who speak out..even if I don't agree with them.

I'm sad to see these opinions tearing us apart, enraging us as communities and truly causing so much destruction...

I don't know what the answer is, but my silence is not ignorance, it's not acceptance and it's not a giving up...

Of course for me, I'm praying...I'm reading...I'm researching and I think most of all, I'm trying to focus on joy.

In my journey of becoming a mother, so many people have said to me that it goes by in a blink of an eye. To my parents my life has gone by in the blink of an eye, my daughter is growing and it's going by fast as well.

I want to leave a legacy of love...I want to leave a legacy of accepting people and their differences and showing them love anyways. I don't want my daughter to look back and remember a time when I was "off-color", unloving, judgmental or even fearful of others.

It's a tall order...and I can't do it on my own because I can be unloving, I can be judgmental and I can be fearful and maybe even off-color...

Many of my friends do not know me well enough to know my positions/thoughts on things. We haven't had the discussions, the deep dives into debate, into politics, religion and I'm guessing many have a wrong idea or preconceived notion about what I believe.

Here's the thing, I can't say I haven't done the same thing - that I haven't put you in a box at some point in time...it happens. And when it doesn't...it's because I'm fully alive and fully functioning in the Spirit and mind of Christ. And that's a challenge, not because of Jesus, not because of my beliefs, but because of my sin nature... My nature that chooses not to read the word of God, my sin nature that chooses not to pray, my sin nature that keeps me inside of myself instead of in community. My sin nature that lets fear keep me from loving others who are different. My sin nature that forgets that God has my back (and my front and all of me). My sin nature that wants what I want, not what God wants...

In reading this and thinking on this I can get overwhelmed with a to do list, I start thinking about all the articles to read the initiatives to follow the posts to respond to, the memes to share, things to write, books to read...thankfully my biggest to do is to get with God...

Galatians 5 (read the ENTIRE Chapter) and I'll leave you with this:

Galatians 5:22

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited,provoking and envying each other.

Crappy days happen

Late Post from November 9th. . . 

So today (November 9th) was a crappy day. . .I've been in the dumps and it started last night and then squirmed it's way into my day today.

I know I should be better about this stuff. I should take every thought captive and I should know better. I should pray more, but there are just days were it's crap. . crap. . .crap. . .and more crap.

I feel like crap. . .

But God is good, it wasn't all lost on crap. This morning the Lord ministered to me through the saints of the church, by allowing me to be prayed over, when I was weak. Allowing this sweet, blessed woman to just love on me and give me a vision of how Jesus sees me. It was so sweet, she just couldn't stop hugging me and I couldn't stop hugging her, what a God-send she was. I needed that hug more than anything (and I don't usually like hugs)! I need hugs though, I know that my heavenly Father knows that and for that I'm thankful.

So the Lord has given me the gift of discernment, I didn't ask for it, I didn't know what it meant before three years ago, but He's gifted me with it. I don't like it all the time, especially, as sometimes it leads me to truth that hurts. Or truth that I don't like, or truth that flat out scares me (ever see a demon, well I have and that's wrapped up in that gift of discernment). And through it all, I always know in my heart what's going on, some people call it a gut feeling, others just know. And most of the time, I do a pretty good job of taking every thought captive. And last night I went to war, I was not going to let the enemy win!

For instance, as the enemy tried to attack, I did it, I prayed and I prayed hard. I said Lord, this is the truth, this is your truth, let it reign true, let all things be okay, let it just be the enemy wanting to derail me. So I prayed and I slept, and I got a really good nights sleep. But when I woke, the shaking was still happening. So much so, it followed me to church, where the Lord shook me to my core, and told me. . .you need prayer, you need help and I won't leave you, I promise, I love you, you are a jewel, you are mine, you are chosen. But child, not everyone is going to understand. Let me command your destiny, let me be your provision, let me rule in your heart.

So my day went on and what a numbing day it was. . .numb, that's the word. The Lord knows the desires of my heart, and so does the enemy, and sometimes we can be fooled by things that look close. They look like a gift, but aren't truth. We have to be careful, but we must not stop loving. As we are told to love, and I do that, I do it really well, but I never want to do it so well that I lose sight of God or myself. When I do this, I lose focus and make so many other things my idol, I fail, and in essence, I sin.

BUT GOD. . .

And He said to them, “You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God. - Luke 16:15

I guess the reason I wanted to post this was to keep it real. To let you know that even though smiles abound normally, there are crappy days and thankfully the Lord sees us through each one of them.

May you be blessed and if you are having a crappy day, stop and pray, or message me and I will pray for you!
Love,
kt