Feeling deflated...

These past few days I've been making a to do list at night - as a recommendation from something I read - it's been working out well - I've been getting lots of things done - I've also been staying up and working a bit each night...but today - I have zero motivation...I literally just stared at the computer for like 5 minutes...and then went to Facebook and trolled which is super productive as we all know.


So I decided to write a little, fact of the matter is, I had a rough day, me and the hubs drove each other to crazy and it wasn't fun, married life is not for wimps, it's hard. I guess what gets me the most is how much it deflates me, wears me out, kills my joy, makes me feel like doing nothing but sitting around and being lazy.


And that's not who I am - dammit...


It's frustrating to say the least and I'm sure the hubs would have a lot to say too - I'm not easy to deal with - at least that's what I've been told. But life is not easy to deal with. Today at church we talked about how we are to be Spirit led and unfortunately we are feeling led...and that's right where I am.


I feel like crap, I'm sad, I'm frustrated, I'm hurt, I'm angry, I'm tired, I'm unmotivated and I'm worried, anxious, lonely, did I mention sad...well there - that's what's happening...the Spirit in me is sucked dry...


So how do we replenish? Sleep, that's a good one. Starting over. Prayer. Fresh air. A shower. A green juice. A glass of wine. A run. A fitness class. A blog.


My to do list is made for morning. I'm not going to get anything accomplished tonight. I must sit back, relax and remind myself tomorrow is a new day. Full of new lists, new accomplishments and new opportunities. And pray...I have to pray. And if you pray, pray with me...pray for me, pray for us, pray for marriages everywhere - because they are not for wimps.


I wish I had some inspiring things to say, but I'm working on being real, in being more transparent, in telling the truth instead of just trying to pump myself and others up. Take it how you like. Such is life.


I saw a button today on a worker at Whole Foods which said "Shiitake Happens" - I need this in a t-shirt...

Marriage Advice...

I read a quote today that if you build a strong foundation for your marriage, it will withstand anything...especially the schemes of the devil that try to pull you apart.

If there's one thing I've noticed in marriage, the devil is all over the place, pulling, tugging, annoying, reminding, forgetting, infuriating, and meddling where he shouldn't be.

So how do you build a strong foundation...no seriously, how?

And don't give me the sweet christian answer of "on Jesus" - I'm tired of the goody, goody answers. Don't worry, I'm not bashing Jesus, I need Him everyday and especially in my marriage, but in this case, I need some meat and potatoes to sink my teeth into, because as I've heard it said before "marriage is not for wimps". Think more tactical, more proactive, more what you've done that's worked, or what you've done that didn't work...that'd be fun too.

So here's my two cents for those reading this that aren't married. If you are praying and desiring a marriage, think about all the things that you are dreaming of, then think of the opposites. For example, cuddling and sleeping together every night oh so dreamy...the opposite...sleeping in separate rooms and not talking because you can hardly stand the site of each other. Why think of something so terrible? Because that's how you prepare for all the ups and downs in marriage...and you need to be better prepared. Life is hard...then you add jobs, finances, kids, in laws, family, travel, unexpected expenses, other people? You get the point, but no one talks about the hard stuff, they only talk about the dreamy stuff. How will you handle a fight, how will you handle many fights? How will your spouse handle them? These are great questions.

I'm not trying to be a Debbie downer here (no offense to Debbie) - but "marriage is not for wimps" right? So, let's get back to how you build that foundation...no fluff please! Leave me your advice because I'm curious! And when you do, tell me how many years you've been married...and/or how many times, not because I'm going to judge you (not publicly anyways), just because I'd be curious to know.