God winks...

This blog has been in the making for quite some time...I've just not thought about how to articulate it. I remember having a conversation with one of my roommates almost 3 years ago (the first year we were roommates) about what I described as winks from God, a parking space, a touch/communication from a friend, an unexpected blessing. And I remember her responding in a way that showed new appreciation, less frustration and more joy - which is what God winks do for me. Selfishly, it made me feel good to help another person see that there are blessings in each day. But I always pray that in helping another, they will learn faster than I did...and can help more people see!

For me, it's a continuous battle to remember that our God is a loving and merciful God, and that through His son Jesus, He has promised to bestow on us more blessings and riches than we can imagine. It's also important to remember that those blessings and riches are according to His glory - Philippians 4:19, not according to this world or even our desires. In my struggle, it's because my mind tends to think of God as a school teacher, grading me on each move I make, always making note of the things I need to fix or change, versus applauding me for the things I'm doing well. (Yes, you can psychoanalyze me now...I'm not afraid to admit I've got issues!)

But when I started thanking God for not just the big miracles in my life, but also for every small blessing in each of my days, I changed my perspective! So while these may seem like small things to you - my God winks get me through the mundane, everyday, and sometimes even rough spots of life. 

Now, do I struggle? Yes, my emotions and flesh take over often, ask the boyfriend and my bible study ladies, but each time they do, I pray and ask the Lord to show me the God winks he sent forth...and I praise Him for that one wink in that day!

So I think for now this blog may evolve, I may add to it, but for now, here's a few notes of my God winks:



2/7/15 - Today - call from the boyfriend, rainbow my friend saw reminding her of God's promises when she needed it (Gen 9:13), lunch at the indian place I like, Smiles and great prayers from the boyfriend, Lord blessing me in prayer time at TTR this a.m.

3/2/15 - Got to go to Haiti! 

3/7/15 - Blessed to eat a this amazing Peruvian restaurant on our way back from Haiti, when it started raining a FREE Trolly passed by and picked us up on our way to the beach, got to dip our toes in the sand in FTL.

3/14/15 - A message on my Instagram from a fellow blogger (check out her BLOG) , text convo with a friend, I sold 2 items on the yard sale group pages - got to pray with one of the buyers - so cool! My roommate gave me a cupcake, more sweet notes from the boyfriend, got to go for a run outdoors, got to read a new book on prayer and spend time listening to the Lord!

Hawks and the providence of God

So over the holiday season, the boyfriend and I drove back to Indiana to visit with my family and take a little sabbatical. We had a great time, we visited, celebrated Christmas, visited some more, shot guns, rode four-wheelers, slept more than usual, ate more than usual, all around it was a great trip.

But one of the cool things that this sabbatical included, was the chance to see some wildlife. On our way there, we saw deer as we drove through Arkansas, and if you haven't ever driven through Arkansas, watch out - there's lots of deer (a least on the dozens of times I've gone through it!).  We saw geese and other migratory birds feasting in barren fields, we saw more deer, raccoons, and opossums (and yes some of this was roadkill - that counts right?). But one creature I kept seeing over, and over, and over again. . .was a hawk. Not the same one, but multiples and at multiple times. They seemed to be everywhere and all along our trip. As I would call them out to the boyfriend, he didn't catch the first few, but then he noticed them too.

So this got me to wondering - a lot! I wondered what the hawk represented. I thought back to times in my life where birds in general were sort of a sign between me and God that he was right there with me. I used to spot birds as I was driving that were tracking right with me - literally - they were flying as if they were following or paralleling my cars' route - I'm serious! At first I would take notice and wonder, is this for real? Then I would just smile and know that the Lord was with me.

On our drive back to Dallas, I finally did a little google search, I love the googles. And what I found was beautiful. And whether or not you are a believer, I am, and I chose to believe that God still speaks to us today, to me personally, through all of His creation. So check out what I found.

• I typed in the google search "Hawk in the Bible"
• The first thing that returned was this link from BibleHub, I encourage you to read it: 
• http://biblehub.com/topical/h/hawk.htm
• From there, I looked up some of the verses highlighted, but the one I looked at the most was this one:
• Is it by your understanding that the hawk soars, stretching his wings toward the south? - Job 29:36
• In reading the context of this verse, it's when God is speaking to Job, reminding Job that He is God, He is in control. And Job believed this, but needed to be reminded in his time of trouble.
• And then from there, I spotted this line on the BibleHub page:
• "in its migrations, it illustrates the wise providence of the Creator"
• WOW! Now the boyfriend asked "What exactly does providence mean?" - great question. So the investigative journey continued. (I hope you're enjoying the thought process on this, sometimes, as I've stated before, it's good to dig and look up definitions)
• So next up. . .definition of PROVIDENCE:
• Here's a link (click the image), but I couldn't pick out just one piece so here's a picture too:

WOW! I'm so thankful how God uses people in our lives to push us just a little bit further - thanks boyfriend! This was all beginning to make a lot of sense, and it was lining up with all my prayers during this time.

"The foreseeing care and guidance of God. . ." 

At this time my life, come January 1, was about to make a HUGE shift! The Lord had been speaking to me clearly from July - September about taking a rest. He clearly didn't articulate what that meant, but I could not have believed how it would come about. Starting January 1, it was coming, ready or not! I was going to be going part-time at the ministry I work for, I had said yes to traveling more with the boyfriend and helping him with his organization, I was taking a cut in pay, I was bound and determined to work on spending more time with the Lord and learning how to REST in His presence. All of this was scary, I also had lots of details that were not worked out. . . pay, for instance, how would the Lord finance this rest, how would my time and travel look with the ministry, how would my time with the boyfriend look, would it put too much pressure on our relationship? How would others respond, would they believe my word from the Lord? Would they support me in prayer? How would I tell my family? (Still haven't told them all, whoops!?!). I also had decisions bearing down on me about church, home group, etc. LIFE! AHHHH!!!

BUT GOD! I know, I think I write this in every post, but WOW! He was totally speaking to me. . .the hawks were a foreshadow into the year, to let me know that He was divinely guiding, caring and lifting me over these worries and concerns! Hallelujah. . .thank you Lord just didn't seem enough at the time. I believe it made me tear up a bit on that drive home, but it also brought me some much needed peace. He would carry me. 

So here I am, three weeks into this new year, and the details are still not worked out, but as it also says in scripture, "He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken." Psalm 62:2. So I'm going to buckle up and enjoy the ride! Please, as you are led, pray for the details, pray for the continued peace, and pray for all involved in this transition, as I love them each dearly and am so thankful and grateful!

Set us free

It's not everyday you meet someone and the Lord gives you just an amazing insight into their hearts. But when it does, and you get to see the Fathers heart, it's amazing. 

That happened today. Just a sweet Saturday with my man, headed to one of our favorite places to grab a salad, and the next thing you know, we're are hearing an amazing testimony.

Now right away you may think we ran I to a fellow believer, sorry to disappoint, but the young man says he's an atheist.

Now don't get sad, the Lord says trust. And so we continued to talk. As he told us he was an atheist, the Holy Spirit told me that he had an immense amount of sorrow in his life, I could see it in his eyes. So I shared that with my man, and he asked him. . ."have you lost someone?" Wow, it's like the floodgates opened, he had lost his parents before he could remember, lost many friends and even lost the love of his life to cancer.

At TTR, where I work, we train people to love, listen, discern and respond. Our loving and listening that day allowed us to discern that this young man needed to know that he was not alone, that he was loved and so that's what we did.

We discerned that we needed to find out more about what he loved, what he enjoyed, why was he work and what was he working for (we're all working for something). As our meal came to an end, my sweet man had told him they needed to hang out, we had found out that he loved to write and that he was open to another visit! Awesome!

The ball is in his hands, as he has our number and contact information, but before we left, he was hugged and encouraged, and I pray he saw a Christ that is loving, not pushy, who listens and cares and will love above all!

Will you pray with me for this young man? Pray that he is encouraged that true love and healing come from Christ.

As we walked away, the Lord told me to pray that he is set free. Lord I pray he's set free and what's even more ironic, shortly after that, I had my own experience with grace and love and come to find out I need to be set free from fear, no new surprise, but just a constant reminder that only Jesus can set us free. 

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

Knowledge gives you wings

So, this past weekend I had the privilege of sitting in on an Earthworks, permaculture class. I've had the chance to learn about permaculture over the past few months. . .by association. 

It's interesting how you know nothing about something and then God just injects your life with new knowledge. . .

With that said, I'm learning a ton! Like this weekend, how to build a swale and ponds. I learned what a berm, a key point, a laser level and much, much more.

Again, I'm just amazed at all the knowledge that is out there in the world, but until it crosses our paths we know nothing of it.

What is the Lord looking to teach you? For me, He's asking me to be silent. And don't laugh since my writing might be construed as being noisy. But He's actually asking me to be quiet with Him, to be quiet in my head, to get to that mountain top with Him, where He can speak to me. How cool!

I'm not there yet, I can't see the top, but I'm climbing, not striving. Or then again, sometimes striving and not climbing. It's a battle, but it's worth it. 

I'm also not yet an expert in permaculture, but I'm learning, more and more as I go.

It's never to late to learn. . .whether it permaculture . . .or discerning the voice of God, get out there and listen up!

"Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven."

William Shakespeare